Dear Twenty-Something Alyssa Haney
A day I was looking for Jesus
Do you ever wish you could go back to a certain point in your life and just hug yourself? Tell that girl laying in bed crying herself to sleep, suffocating in unworthiness, that she is so much more than how she feels right then, in that season of her life. That SO MUCH MORE would come from that pain that would be so beyond what she ever imagined possible. That it’s ok to feel messy, confused, misunderstood, like you’re ‘too much.’
We’re all just craving to feel truly seen aren’t we? Sometimes, I would imagine myself sitting quietly on a curb somewhere and out of nowhere this stranger would come and plop down beside me and say, “I see you,” while truly looking into my eyes and being one with me in a way that could only be possible with magic. In a way that you only see in movies, or read about in books, a way that makes you feel like you’re meeting at the core of everything that is and makes up this world. Where nothing else matters. Not how charismatic you were that day, how well you performed in your relationships to feel up to par, how ‘enough’ you felt when you showed up to perform your normal day to day. You could simply just, be. Unapologetically, unwaveringly, undoubtedly, YOU. No pretending , no fake half smile, no shrinking, no excuses. You don’t have to ‘just participate, do your best, or go with the flow’ all of the time. Find what resonates with your soul, and be ALL THERE.
You can speak your heart. You can take up space, be wildly creative, and own all of what makes you, you. You are not ‘too this, or too that.’ you are ENOUGH. You are special. You are purposeful. Breathe. Then breathe again. Then dance, and sing, and jump, and play, and laugh, and relax into all that God created you for.
Stop shrinking, step into your light. Lean into your magic.
