“I found Him whom my soul loves. I held him and would not let go.” Song of Songs, 3:4
“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” Tim Keller
Fortify your relationship with honesty and communication. It is imperative your soul be both known and loved. In that space trust is forged.
“Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly.” George MacDonald
Reflection Reading:
Jeremiah 9:24 ESV
“But let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”
To be understood and to be known, is so valuable. Note the first item on a list of items God takes delight in. Steadfast love. It is the same source for all of us.
Spend sometime sharing the moments the specific things you each enjoy. Listen well here. Is it the outdoors? Is it a good meal or an excursion? Is it a comedy or some down time? On a scale of 1-10 how honest are you with each other? 10 being 10 out of 10 times you are totally honest.
When you are wild with love, in mind blowing love, your face shows, there is a grin behind the eyes. This is your season and you have found the one you want to do forever with! So let it show.
For Jared and I it was our hike today. Thursdays are a regular date day for us. My knee was killing me on the trail we were hiking. Jared recommended I walk backwards and offered to hold my hand so I wouldn’t trip or fall. At first this seemed a bit much for our usual hike, but I was in some serious pain. Normally we chat and plan together while enjoying the dogs and the trail or even have that hard conversation shoulder to shoulder. His act of supporting me physically brought a closeness in my pain. The power of touch should not be under valued. I’m thankful for my knee pain because it revealed how supportive Jared is when I’m in need. Jared built up my trust in him with his response.
Are there things each of you do that bring a sense of trust to the relationship?
It is so important to be sincere in your relationship. The conversations and words you share must be matched with actions otherwise trust will erode. If on the trail J had said, “babe good luck” and then not offered some solution or idea his covert (nonverbal) communication would differentiate from his overt (verbal) communication thus undermining trust.
Live truthfully with one another.
As we interact with one another we must be sincere. Don’t fake it. Be real. Be thoughtful in your truth telling and be honest in love. And when you have the feels express it to the full. Don’t leave him or her in question. Nonverbal communication is still communication. If you are on your phone or passive when spending time together this is communicating. Even if I’m working on a deadline I still need to pause acknowledge J and welcome him home. This is steadfast love.
Application
Listen: what part, concept, or segment stands out?
Understand: How have you non verbally communicated?
Do THIS: take action. Tell one other the things they do that build you up. Be detailed as you show your appreciation. Take the love language quiz this week. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
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