Char here and we have been publishing these dear twenty-something letters and I was thinking, I might need a letter myself about life and wisdom for how to approach 40.  So I asked Katie who is always throwing something useful into our conversations! Enjoy!

Embrace being 40.  Age is a gift that has been given to you to steward and flourish.  The 40’s are an evaluation time.  What used to work in your 20’s and 30’s will no longer carry you through this decade. You now have the wisdom and strength to make the choices in life that will guarantee the 50’s and 60’s to be even more fabulous.

  1. It is a time to let go of negative friends.
  2. Say no and do not feel guilty.
  3. Praying is way more effective than worry.
  4. It is a time to be honest, speak the truth and do not second guess yourself.  Do not care what others think about you.
  5. Respect yourself which means you must care about you.  You are done childbearing so it is important to get good sleep and rest for your mind and soul.
  6. Work out and eat right.  The goal is not to be skinny but to be strong.  A strong core might keep you out of the nursing home.  Embrace your beautiful body. Get a mammogram.
  7. Love your husband more than your kids.  Invest into him and do not let your strong kids divide you.
  8. Put a tracker on your kids cell phones and get a house alarm so you can be alerted if they try and run away.
  9. Breathe and find humor in hard things.
  10. Color your hair and get rid of the clothes in your closet from your 20’s and 30’s.
  11. Say something kind to someone everyday.  This actually benefits you even more than them.
  12. It is easier to be kind than mean.
  13. If your parents are still alive- hug them, call them, spend time with them.  They will be gone before you know it.
  14. Every painful trial in life has an end.  True pain will not last forever.
  15. Don’t ever reject your children.
  16. Be a friend to yourself- it will help you be a better friend.
  17. Do not withhold yourself from your husband.
  18. It is ok to love big even if it hurts.  Your heart is not a bone that breaks.  It is a muscle that can contract and come back to life.

Kay Stevie

Katie, is one of the most hilarious and beautiful women in my life I have treasured our after workout coffee dates with the whole crew of women from 9am.   I hope you enjoyed just a taste of the wisdom and care she brings to those around her.  I know I teared up reading this because my mom is gone on to glory and it was like she wrote me a letter through Katie.  And if you aren’t 40- don’t worry there is still some seriously good stuff here you can apply to your life now.  Love Charity


  1. Audra, love the proof reading! Thank you for your insight and perspective. Katie who wrote this wrote from her life experience. Our experience is the frame and wisdom of our life choices. She chose a heterosexual marriage, and wrote from her experience. Please write a list from yours, the world needs more mentors and people who care.

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