As a couple, what are you in pursuit of? Is it a completed education, a new car, a stress free weekend, a holiday vacation, a marathon race, or achieving fitness goals? We can identify what we are after by the anger felt when something or someone interrupts our pursuit. For her it may be when you miss that important date, occasion, or event. For him it may be when you gloss over as he describes his current passion for work or you fail to support a new outlet for his tension. Or perhaps both of you fail at your budgeting goals. The frustration is real. Rogue thoughts unchecked by steadfast love fuel our anger and isolate us.
When in pursuit we must pay attention to how we think about one another. Rather than see one another as the obstacle allow some refinement and reflection. Refinement takes note of our anger and realizes we are putting our pursuits before her, or before him. Healthy pursuits must stay in balance with the commitment you have made to building a vibrant life together. We must slow the thought processes towards anger.
“You cannot sit back and wait to be happy and healthy and have a great thought life; you have to make the choice to make this happen. You have to choose to get rid of the toxic and get back in alignment with God. You can be overwhelmed by every small setback in life, or you can be energized by the possibilities they bring.”
Pursuits are healthy when in alignment. Rather than getting overwhelmed at the setbacks that you both experience, rally. Rally the team attitude between you both. Repent of areas that are out of alignment with God and with one another. And dare to think a different thought.
“Satan, the father of lies (John 8:44), will come at you with a thousand negative probabilities, but you always need to remember that a probability has no power.”
Think a positive thought about the setbacks. Rather than fixating on the negative probability set your hope on the positive possibility. Utilize the following truth statements to circumnavigate your negative thoughts, responses, and anger. Steadfast love is slow to anger and abounding in love.
18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.
25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Listen: what part, concept, or segment stands out?
Understand: How do you slow your anger? Take a walk, step aside for a moment. Slow your thoughts and your tongue will follow.
Do THIS: take action. Show her or him love. How can you help them achieve their pursuits. “Our brains are made for love. Not fear. Not performance. Not aggression. But LOVE.”