Worth. My entire existence has centered on finding self-worth.
In high school, I got tired of being called, the Fat – Bible Thumper. (Now, that is a name everyone wants to claim, right!) So I quit church.
I hadn’t found worth there anyways. The lectures to read my bible, pray and never miss church when the doors were open, had left me feeling guilty and distant. I couldn’t seem to live up to this “Christian life” they preached. So I quit.
When I didn’t find worth in church, I tried to find it in popularity, body image, men, people pleasing and perfectionism.
You are smart enough to figure out, none of these filled the gaping hole in my soul either.
In my earlier twenty’s I was in a car accident. Not the kind you see on TV with blood on the windshield and a body hooked up to life support in a hospital bed. But an accident bad enough to hit me upside the head with the truth. Literally, the tire that was bolted in the hatchback of the Honda CRX (Google CRX if you need a pic) I drove, came up and hit the back of my head rest.
Long story, short version. I cried out to God that day. My life was a mess… NO. Let me rephrase that. My life was a lonely mess. I asked God, “Why in the world am I still here?” The only time I have ever heard God’s audible voice was in that moment. He answered: “Because I have a plan and a purpose for your life.”
From that day on, I set out to find out what that plan and purpose was.
I have not always done it right. At times, I have tried to make my own plan. And for years, I misinterpreted purpose as a title, a degree, a position, a paycheck, a ministry, a family…
The best advice I would give my twenty-something self is this:
You are enough! You don’t have to earn God’s love. You are enough solely on the fact that you are a daughter of God.
I am cheering for you!
Angela is the Lead Pastor of Pursuit Church Live and an adjunct professor at Northwest University. She is a lover of Jesus, family & the unbreakable human spirit to change the world. Connect with Angela anytime @angelalcraig on Twitter, Facebook, or IG