disappointed part 1
This drive is long. Along the way you will encounter disappointment. Where do you go when life lets you down?
I was in the car and after some recent news about a leaders failure in my local church and a question came to mind. When did it start? Not when did the pastor start failing but when did disappointment start? Early.
My personal list could go on and on, but I am not writing this to air my soul’s dirty laundry. I was wondering if you are like me? Disappointed. Did the ones you look to for help and shelter expose you to the severity of life? Did the team you trusted fail? Did the “promiser” break his word? Did your body fail? Did your strength fail? Did you fail your finals?
I have had what feels like a million reasons to give in to the battering ram of disappointment, to give up on the idea of the real love of Christ in the world, to run into the oblivion of numb cold-hearted living. Truth is I have thought of it. What an expensive price to pay, my warm-heart of love, for what? Bitterness? Have you?
BUT GOD, who knows our frame, my story and your story won’t let disappointment shake our foundation. However you need to process your emotion. This week was full with some daily schedules and meetings. On the last day of fullness and activity I took a phone call where I was uninvited to speak at an event. I am a choosing to reject disappointment. It was healthy for my soul to process with Jared. The core of me believes in a collaborative church and when I hear of competition it breaks me. The details matter not, it just exposed a root of disappointment in leadership that I have been struggling with. There I was in my living room with the light of the Christmas tree and Jared witnessing honest raw words spoken from my mouth with unannounced tears pouring down my face. A raw lament. When will we wake up to the reality that we haven’t reached them yet? I cry for the youth that are starving for a meal that satisfies. Wondering about a God who doesn’t fail. Wondering if this God has the ability to forgive them, to heal them, to comfort them. And with all my heart I say yes, yes He does. Go ahead and process, but then let hope wrap around you and pull you out. Choose to give the relational death and failure to God. Be born again to a living hope. And dare I say, go to church anyway. God is the PROMISE KEEPER.
When my husband fails I realize I am not being a good wife just for Jared. When leadership buckles under the weight of our expectations I want to ask you one question. Are you doing it for them? Hopefully not as your calling is from God. Your hope for a future is rooted in God’s gift in Christ. And that gift is substantial. The Lord is much broader than we realize. Let go of your will and grieve it. And after you lament trust. God offers a hope that is bright. God offers you beautiful faithful love. Faithful love calls you family and it’s enough. And here it is, in this life you can choose to be faithful or willful so choose wisely.
I choose Christ and His forgiveness and I choose to stand with people made of dust and clay each week (you with me and I with you) and call them family. All for Jesus. All because of Jesus.
ROMANS 5:5 (AMP)
Such hope [in God’s promises] never disappoints us, because God’s love has been abundantly poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
PSALM 43:5 (AMP)
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you restless and disturbed within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall again praise Him, The help of my [sad] countenance and my God.
1 PETER 1:3 (AMP)
Blessed [gratefully praised and adored] be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant and boundless mercy has caused us to be born again [that is, to be reborn from above–spiritually transformed, renewed, and set apart for His purpose] to an ever-living hope and confident assurance through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
PSALM 103:14 (AMP)
For He knows our [mortal] frame; He remembers that we are [merely] dust.
