Last Sat we were dancing and it was rad. Sheltered from the storm. Hearts light and hopes high.
Days later my thoughts are full. Health concerns. They wear on us more than our actual health and well-being. Nothing attacks our peace quite like a looming unknown health problem. Since Feb when I had a challenging few weeks, a couple events, and another round of grief with a family member passing away it has been a struggle. So for months I have been suffering from what I thought were UTI infections. Lab cultures and 3 rounds of antibiotics later I am now heading to a specialist. When your mom dies of cancer a health concern floats around like an impending bee about to sting, and one’s peace is deathly allergic. I can’t hide it with my choked speech to the nurse as tears ran down my flushed face at the thought, it’s evident. It is one road I would never want my children to have to travel.
Thursday I began to wear down.
This is why I am thankful for the word of God. Ephesians 6. I rewrite it in 1st person. Lord today I recognized and know my struggle, ____________ struggle, ____________ struggle – all of the 8th grade girls struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore today I take up the full armor of God, so that I am able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. God I stand firm therefore having girded my loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod my feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace.
In addition to all, I take up the shield of faith with which I am able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And I take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God with all prayer and petition I pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, I am on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.
I pray on the behalf of ________, ____, __ ______, _____, __________ ___ _______, that utterance may be given them. And given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in Washington, that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I out to speak. Send people to make things known, to comfort my heart.
Send _______ people to make the gospel known and to comfort his heart. Peace to the 8th grade girls. Love with faith to them today. Give my life, incorruptible love.
And it does the trick. It works with prayer from friends, I find my peace undisturbed. Unexplainable I have a calm sense that it’s all good. Confession: along with a strong desire for a vacation. It is indeed all good.
Friday turned out much better, and Sat is looking pretty golden as I am about to make the kids a fabulous breakfast. Enjoy it, life is happening while we are worrying. In His words not mine, do not worry about tomorrow for each day has enough.
“The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty.” Oswald Chambers
Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars, the One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; Because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power, Not one of them is missing.